|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
O.K.The crack in my chest is only getting bigger
The tears won't stop flowing
The memories of you just won't go away.
This pain just won't cease.
I can't take it anymore.
Everytime I see your photo
It makes me dissolve
Into another Sea of Tears.
Sharp pains again
Hole in me is growing.
Larger and Larger
With each moment,
I remember of you.
Its been so long.
So long since I have
Heard your voice.
Seen you smile.
Felt your warmth.
Worried for you.
Please make this pain go away.
Take my memories
Take my tears
Fix this crack
Make everything ok.
Make me Ok.
Homeward BoundCold bitter winds, as bitter of the faces
Of the inhabitants,of a city crying for salvation.
How I long for the bright sunlight
And the sweet smell of fresh clean air.
Yearning for times long gone.
The Past that can never return.
The darkness creeps upon my mind.
Slowly I grow weaker, succumbing to It's seduction.
It's deceit eludes my guard.
Preying on my lost soul.
I claw and struggle to find a away out.
To return to the crisp breezes I once knew.
The light that caressed me.
To return to a memory.
Demons at every turn. Leering.
Can I escape?
Or do I escape because I don't want to?
The doubts and fears turn my blood to ice.
At the thought of giving up.
Every kind word.
Every gesture of kindness
Every understanding look.
Or is it?
I am told.
My chest is in pain.
My legs are numb.
My world goes black.
My eyes see blurred faces around me.
Kind Faces. Familiar Faces
I dare to take a breath.
Still FallingA breeze travels through the air.
You have a smile on your face
As you hold me closer.
Kiss me gently on my lips.
My support though everything.
I will never let you go.
We joke and we smile.
Over memories from long ago.
And even some recent.
Enjoying the company of one another.
You kisses are what get me though the rough work days
Your cynical wit gets me though the drama and false friends.
You make me think reasonably.
You make me weak in my knees.
I hold you closer to me.
I can't let you go yet.
I cuddle closer.
And you snuggle right back.
Making me feel safe.
MirrorsWhat is that I see in the mirror?
Surely that cannot be me.
Its so different than the me I have known for so many years.
I remember hair thick, pulled back,
Eyes pleading to be loved.
Muffing Tops and Buns.
That is the me I remember.
I look again at the model before me.
Smiling her pearly whites.
Hair stylishly in her face.
Body and looks to Kill
Outfit to die for.
Which is me?
Or is this just a dream?
Or a possibly a reality?
Or a past?
No more scars,
No more Acne.
I want to be this so badly.
What if this isn't me?
I Miss You.I find myself mesmerized by the skies of white and blue.
I can't help but look at every American flag on the side of the road.
Thinking of what you lived, you breathed, and you loved, for 21 years.
You loved freedom.
You loved life.
You loved making yourself known.
That's why I miss you so.
I see you everywhere I go.
I can't run away.
I miss you, why can't you come back?
21 years wasted in this world,
I am missing a part of myself.
Time and Time AgainSnow is fluttering to the grown.
Staining the green with its cleanliness.
Its white is so pure, so fresh.
Never stepped in before.
I look away from the snow for only a moment.
And in that moment it was like I was born a new.
My eyes cannot leave it.
Because I am looking at you.
Your eyes bore into mine.
They are such a beautiful blue.
I find myself trapped.
Yet I do not mind.
I want you to keep me forever.
I want to wake up every morning
And find you there.
Time and time again, I want to see your face.
Time and Time again I want to be held in your arms.
Time and Time again I want to feel your kisses.
Time and time again...
I want to look at you like it was the first time
Oblivion Rests HereOblivion Rests Here
i have gathered my congregation,
and today you witness my church.
we are spirits, wandering ghosts,
souls holding hands
falling, spreading like rain
racing down windowpanes.
we are a mosaic of loose threads
falling from old scarves,
shrapnel that fell from fireworks,
leaves scattered across mud grain,
and ashes forgotten in wildfires.
but the forgotten souls sew love together,
wrapping whispers and skin
around each other like tornadoes.
and we rain down our message
like the King himself has touched down.
strands of hair, empty fingers, fluttering arms
all find themselves filled with warmth
in free rein, the sky embracing our veins
as we hold space
with c(h)ords of culminating ardor,
vocal cords strumming chants of freedom.
we sing louder than any choir
and hold each other tighter
than any thread count could.
tactile, textile, tensile
strength, we expose entities
with tractile virtue,
healing the exiled.
send Muhammad, Yahweh, Al
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
The UniverseThen suddenly there was matter.
There was time, there was life.
From the unfathomable nothing sprung forth our universe.
Our earth was born,
she, an angry mass of volcanoes and storms.
And life, oh that miracle, rose from the non-space.
A single microorganism,
whose name we will never know,
began turning the Evolutionary Wheel.
Earth had many inhabitants.
But here and now, she houses us.
Homo sapiens, her most gifted child.
We have made her surface angry as the beginning.
Machines of war replace the storm,
death flourishes in the garden of life.
In a hundred-thousand years our plights will matter not.
If the Homo sapiens lives still, he will be alien.
His old achievements as pathetic as the discovery of fire.
Even he will eventually cease to exist.
Several million years will rob him of his humanity,
whether through death or the persistence of the Wheel.
Billions of years will pass then.
Andromeda will embrace the Milky Way,
their fervent dance sending shockwaves through their solar sys
yahwehIn fifteen hours I will be strung, pelvis
to sternum, ready to be struck
stomach aching to sing -
There was once when I was whole,
full and stretched to breaking,
I have been a giant in my own skin &
I was not enough to be loved.
& now, finger to thumb, you
swallow my spine in your palms
play my bones,
play my bones,
play my bones //
I am rising to throb
& thud & thrum
of pulse and breath and music
of mantra spilt-spoken,
smeared sacred over wrists
written with sweat & sex,
Muscles tensed for every chord,
Herein is the hallelujah -
You alone, you alone, you,
Hollow my belly and carve me
until I am fluted, crying out
between your hands
I have been too much to love,
every wire & tendon pulled loose
, I have been too much
& now you are here
& you play my bones
until the giant in my skin
becomes a rhythm
until I finally feel
I am enough!
You move me,
spine swallowed and sequestered,
I become holy beneath you
I was too much to love:
MistakesBe brave enough to admit your mistakes
Be Strong enough to accept them
And be wise enough to learn from them
Why do you judge?Why do you have the need to judge with your signs?
Do you even know why I am here?
Am I here just because I do not want the responsibility to be a mom?
Am I here because I am not in the right place in my life where I can take care of a child?
Or am I here because I was raped and he didn't use a condom?
Don't you know it is going to hurt me in the long run after I do this?
So how do you sit there with your sings and judge people?
Little Fighters.This is the story of two boys
that lost too much.
The older one was born with a gun in his hand
and the other one had beautiful eyes
if it weren't for how they blackened with demon blood.
They knew each other
because they were all that was left.
One day, the boy with the gun
tried to save the world
and ended up to be the black-eyed one.
Then his brother picked up the gun.
Words That Leave StichesIf you wish to listen, gather 'round
I'm going tell you a little story
About a little girl
Who was afraid to be creative
Because of a few harsh words that stung
And bled into her young heart
That made her want to hide her skill forever
Because of an ability she wanted to show
Was beaten down to dust
She was excited
She was full of light
She was ready
Her mother helped
To write the steps to help explain
And gather the supplies
Reds and purples and oranges and blues and greens
All soft and square
Waiting to become a new shape
Silver needles and night thread
All packed into a bag and ready for the day
Running to the classroom,
The little girl was excited to show others
What she had learned from her mother
She saw drawings and sculpted clay
Paper snowflakes and glittering stars
She peeked into her bag and smiled
When everyone quieted
The teacher spoke sweetly to the young minds
She tapped heads and everyone moved to desks of four
Supplies in small hands
And light in bright e
The PlayThe air is frigid, and snow covers all.
I freeze in my footsteps,
Surrounded by white I am
I feel misplaced, and oh so wrong.
the only darkness in this purity.
The only flaw, on this perfect Stage.
The only one who doesnt know thier lines.
In this play of perfection.
Constantly making mistakes,
Never being good enough.
Again and again, I rehearse,
Retrace the steps, repeat the lines.
They go through my head,
The way the blood goes thorugh my veins,
In order to seek approval,
This is what I must do.
I go to the first scene,
Taking my place on the stage,
The curtain begins to rise.
So many thoughts go through my head,
Snow litters the stage
It goes cold.
I begin to move in my dark Attire.
Everyone begins to move in the dance.
I step out and continue on my own.
Keep in Touch!
Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More